Incident
• Any type of abuse occurs (physical/sexual/emotional)
Tension Building
• Abuser starts to get angry
• Abuse may begin
• There is a breakdown of communication
• Victim feels the need to keep the abuser calm
• Tension becomes too much
• Victim feels like they are 'walking on egg shells'
Making-Up
• Abuser may apologize for abuse
• Abuser may promise it will never happen again
• Abuser may blame the victim for causing the abuse
• Abuser may deny abuse took place or say it was not as bad as the victim claims
Calm
• Abuser acts like the abuse never happened
• Physical abuse may not be taking place
• Promises made during 'making-up' may be met
• Victim may hope that the abuse is over
• Abuser may give gifts to victim
The cycle can happen hundreds of times in an abusive relationship. Each stage lasts a different amount of
time in a relationship. The total cycle can take anywhere from a few hours to a year or more to complete.
It is important to remember that not all domestic violence relationships fit the cycle. Often, as time goes on,
the 'making-up' and 'calm' stages disappear.
Adapted from the original concept of: Walker, Lenore. The Battered Woman. New York: Harper and Row,
1979.

Pastoral Resource Ministries, Inc.
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An Outreach Ministry for the Millennium
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Our goals are to eliminate domestic violence, empower victims, educate the public, and promote partnerships.
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Created To Be Whole - Stop Domestic Violence Against Women
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If you are in immediate danger call your local police 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline
1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.3224 (TTY) Anonymous & Confidential Help 24/7
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Use a safe computer. Computer use
can be monitored and is impossible
to completely clear. If you are afraid
your Internet and/or computer usage
might be monitored, please use a
safer computer, call your the National
Domestic Violence Hotline or your
local Domestic Violence Hotline.
Connecticut Hotline
1 (888) 774- 2900
One of the best reasons to give to the
“Created to Be Whole” Domestic
Violence Program (CTBWDVP) for
women is to make a difference in the
lives of women. Every donation to
this program helps support victim s of
violence and to ensure someone is
available for them in a time of need.
Remember - You Are Not Alone! - It Is Not Your Fault!
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"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalms 46:1
"Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers." 3 John 2 __________________________________________________________________________________
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Putting the broken pieces
back together again.